Anger and God
We are taught to fear anger. Do a quick quote search on “anger,” and you’ll see I’m right. Anger is scary. Sometimes we’re so mad we can’t see straight. It burns us up. It drives us to do and say things we’ll regret. Anger is the first step to bitterness. Too often anger leads to pain.
But what if anger isn’t all bad?
Read a little bit through the bible, and you’ll see both sides of anger. Cain is angry at Able, and it doesn’t end well. God is angry with mankind, and He floods the earth. Kings become mad at prophets and send them to their deaths. Jesus is angry because of commerce happening at the temple, and He clears it with a whip.
Then this,
Then the Spirit of God came powerfully upon Saul, and he became very angry. -1 Samuel 11:6
God is okay with anger. God created anger. God feels anger.
Let’s not be afraid of anger. Let’s understand it.
Anger and Boundaries
A couple of years ago I read the book Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. One point that hasn’t left me is the purpose of anger. Cloud writes we become angry when someone has crossed one of our personal boundaries.
Anger is a sign. It’s a sign someone has said or done something which we are uncomfortable with. Sometimes that discomfort is on us. Sometimes the pain is on the other person.
We need anger. It’s a gift from God.
Holding onto Anger
Here’s the problem, when I hold onto anger I get hurt. Remember those quotes mentioned earlier, this is one of my favorites –
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. -Buddha
Anger left unchecked turns to bitterness. Bitterness destroys our souls.
We need anger, but just as important is letting anger go.
Some feel that it is ok to be angry at sin. They say love the sinner and hate the sin. I say unconditionally love the sinner (period). Hate your own sin.
Bob – I see your point, and I can almost go there with you. I wonder though if you apply that to loving the sinner but not hating the sin of killing my child (or anyone for that matter). I think I would hate that sin. If that is the case, then where do I draw the line. How big of a “sin” do I not hate?
The biggest problem and maybe your point is we, in our humanity, have a hard time drawing that line between sin and sinner – action and person. We can’t love one and despise the other, or more accurately despise the one and love the other.
Either way, that is not my point in these thoughts. It has more to do when someone has crossed a boundary or even sinned against me. What do I do with that anger? Is it justified? Sometimes I believe it is – at least it’s a marker I need to be aware of. Though I definitely must choose to let go of it. I don’t want to become a crusty, bitter man.
In these matters I tend to look to the life of Jesus. He was a friend of sinners. The only sin that seemed to upset (i.e. anger) him was the sin of religious hypocrisy. Loving people is looking past their sin, not focusing on it. Our job is to love people where they are.
Regarding our response when someone sins against us, I suggest that there is no greater example of a divine response than that of Jesus on the cross. The challenge with anger is our inability to turn that anger into love and forgiveness. To go the extra mile or to turn the other cheek when we are tempted to get angry is the Jesus way. Not that it is easy. 🙂