Hiding from reality? 5 ways to become more real.

Ready Player One

A couple of weeks ago, I read, Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. It’s a goldmine for anyone who enjoys sci-fi, the 80’s, video games, role-playing games, or a mixture of any of those. It’s a kind of nerd’s paradise.

It’s set in postapocalyptic United States in 2044 and follows Wade Watts. Young Watts, like most of society, escapes to an online “world” called OASIS – a sort of Matrix like reality. The creator of OASIS is James Halladay (a Steve Jobs-ish character) who has recently passed away. Wade (along with millions of others) is on a scavenger hunt to win Halladay’s estate – making the winner an instant billionaire.

There are lots of subplots, but the most interesting was the strange and sad dichotomy of living in the real world versus living in OASIS. Life has become more real on OASIS than in the real world. I was reminded of Tamara Lackey’s comment in her WPPI 2012 presentation.

The problem with the 24/7 social media inundation is we stop feeling…we become numb.

If fact, Cline in his conclusion, writes these words spoken by Halladay to Wade:

I created the OASIS because I never felt at home in the real world. I didn’t know how to connect with the people there. I was afraid, for all my life. Right up until I knew it was ending. 

That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it’s also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real. Do you understand?

Do you hide from reality?

John Pyle likes to say, “I am much cooler online than I am in real life.”

It’s not the truth, and I think John understands it. However, many of us (myself included) buy into that statement. We immerse ourselves in an online world of Facebook, Twitter, blogs, Tumblr, forums, and more to position ourselves to appear as something we’re not…but who we really want to be.

The real world can just be too painful. We aren’t the right size. We don’t make enough money. We feel inadequate in our jobs or family.

Here is the truth –

1. You aren’t perfect.
2. You are unique.
3. You are gifted.
4. You need to feel pain.
5. You need to feel joy.

Going back to Tamara Lackey’s observation, social media numbs us to these feelings, emotions, and truths. They cause us to portray ourselves in less than real terms. It’s natural and understandable, but we need to be more real. We need to live in reality.

5 ways to live in reality.

1. Turn off social media.

I turn off my social media channels (except for Instagram) for almost all of every weekend. I will occasionally jump on for a work related item, but 90% of the time I stay off. This allows me to better connect with my family and world.

Ron Dawson has done a prolonged “fast” of 1 or more weeks multiple times. He has shared the benefits he’s seen in his life and business on his blog. It’s something I have considered for myself.

It may not be social media. It might be CNN or ESPN or talk radio or books or the internet in general. Force yourself to step away regularly to re-focus on life right here, right now.

2. Find online outlets to share your reality.

For me, the biggest value of The Collective is not sharing information and ideas, but fears and concerns. I have a place I can put into words what I’m worried about or frustrated with.

Be careful! Don’t use this as an opportunity to rant against your pet peeves or latest let down. I’m amazed when some people who are quiet, reserved and kind in real life become complete jerks on a blog or forum. Don’t be that person.

3. Interact with people outside of your business.

Get involved! Join a book club. Volunteer to coach. Serve at a soup kitchen. Sign up for a local class. Connect with people from outside of your circle.

4. Travel.

I’ve found that I am much more open to learn and grow when I’m away from home. Whether it’s a vacation setting or a business setting, I see the world much more clearly when I am on the road.

5. Read.

Dive into books, magazines, websites (but not on a dark day :)) or anything that stimulates your thinking. I read both fiction and non-fiction – both come from a particular world-view that author wants to share.

Just remember, don’t allow your reading to be a form of escaping the real world.

Open your world.

No matter how you do it, I challenge you to open yourself up to reality (or stay open if you already are). Don’t allow yourself to be numb. Feel what is happening around you. See the world you live in. Be real.

How do you keep yourself grounded in reality?

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