I wish…
I wish I had come up with my catchy title for today’s post. Unfortunately it wasn’t me. The title comes from Perry Noble. Noble is the lead pastor of a large church in South Carolina and recently wrote the book Overwhelmed about depression and anxiety. He was also one of the featured speakers at The Orange Conference. During his presentation he made this statement (the title statement):
“It’s okay to not be okay. It’s not okay to stay that way.”
All of us have moments (sometimes short and other times long) when we simply aren’t okay. We all struggle. That’s okay.
Someone who wasn’t okay.
This week, I’m reading the story of Ruth. Ruth is the daughter-in-law to Naomi. Naomi has lost her husband and both sons to death. Out of desperation, Naomi returns home to Bethlehem from Moab. She is destitute and alone.
Naomi isn’t okay.
How bad is Naomi? She requests those around her to call her Mara which means bitterness.
“Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter.” -Ruth 1:20
She goes on to say,
“I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.” -Ruth 1:21
Naomi isn’t okay, and it’s okay.
Naomi didn’t stay that way.
The story doesn’t end there though. Naomi is blessed to have a great friend…who happens to be her daughter-in-law (wife of her dead son). Ruth works hard to support them both, and meets Boaz. Boaz “redeems” Ruth and Naomi, and they all live happily ever after.
Naomi returns to Israel bitter, but she doesn’t stay that way. She has good reason to be upset, angry and depressed. She doesn’t have good reason to stay that way.
So Naomi gets better.
How do you get better?
This is the question we need to ask ourselves. How do I get better? How do I overcome my stress, anger, anxiety, fear, depression, addiction? Here is what Naomi does:
1. Naomi admits to her pain.
Naomi admits she is bitter. She tells people she is mad at God. Naomi completely owns up to how she feels.
I think it might have been easier to deal with deep emotions in that time period. Mourning was expected and encouraged in a way we don’t understand. None-the-less, Naomi made no bones about her pain.
In order for us to overcome not being okay, we have to admit something is wrong.
2. Naomi has friends in low places.
Everyone knows Garth Brooks iconic song, I’ve Got Friends in Low Places. Naomi needed that song. She needed those friends. Ruth was a friend in Naomi’s low place. Ruth helped Naomi get better.
We need friends when we are in low places. We need friends who will “cling” to us like Ruth clung to Naomi.
And again they wept together, and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-bye. But Ruth clung tightly to Naomi. -Ruth 1:14
We also might need to find professional help. It might take a doctor or counselor. It might take medication. This might be the best friend you can have in a low place.
3. Naomi found purpose.
The narrative of Ruth is beautiful. It paints a picture where you can’t help but see Naomi’s eyes light up when Boaz enters the picture. Naomi seems to instantly transform from crushed widower to cunning matchmaker. Naomi longs for family, and she jumps at the opportunity to see it fulfilled.
What do you long for?
It’s an important question to ask because when you opportunity comes, you need to be ready to act.
Please don’t stay not okay.
If you are struggling with pain, fear, depression, anxiety, addiction, it’s okay. It’s not okay to stay that way. You need to be better. You’re family needs you to be healthy.
As a pastor who sees brokenness all the time, I hate seeing people who stay broken. It kills me to see people who can’t seem to pull themselves out of the shadows.
It’s okay to be broken, but you don’t have to stay broken.
I know it’s not a simple 3 step process to healing. I know it’s not a snap of the fingers.
I also know there is hope. There is hope for you to overcome your pain.
It’s okay.
“There is hope for you to overcome your pain.”
Great insight Andy. After my wife Ellen died (20 years ago this month) a grief counselor told a group that I was in that we needed to step into our pain and release it. If we did not then we would continue to circle around it.
I have found that to be true in my life. Recently read that pain that is not transformed is transmitted. So my thinking is that part of our mission is to compassionately help ourselves and other to transform our pain into something beautiful.
I like that idea of ‘transforming our pain into something beautiful.’ That is the story of Ruth/Naomi. Part of why the story is so beautiful.